Photo catch up

244


The kids are momentarily both sleeping but I desperately wanted to blog.  So here goes a quick one!

Vivi bowling with Grandma and Aunt Coryn.  She can pick up the ball with one hand!  Slow down kid :)

After a fun day at the Tigers game

 I'm pretty sure she'll be famous someday...once she gets over that I-don't-want-to-talk-to-strangers-or-infront-of-strangers-deal.

Hanging out with a whole bunch of our peeps!

 My loves

Vivi and her gal, Morgan, go waaaaay back ;)

Out of order, but at the zoo with a new friend.

The blushing bride that was my former student.  (yes, out of order too!)

And yesterday's playdate.  My friend offered to have Vivi come by so I could get more stuff done.  What a great friend!  I needed some adult interaction though so we hosted.  The gals were the prettiest princess fairies I've seen.  But can't you see the trouble in their eyes and not-so-innocent faces? :)

Yesterday's playdate made Vivi's heart happy.  Mine too.  It officially was Weston's first playdate also.  He and his bud gabbed and gabbed...er...drooled and drooled!  We are still loving things here.  It is still dreamlike.  Even Tony agrees.  The weekend was rounded out with church, gardening, and tons of 90 unseasonal sunshine.  This weekend we are looking forward to celebrating wonderful friends as they wed.  Pictures to come!

For what it's worth

Entry 243


My dear friend asked me to list the top 10 things I didn't like in Alabama.  For her, no prob.  Here it is in no particular order:

1.  The heat that is like Hell in a swamp.

2.  The "Bless their heart" condescending bull that people say when they mean "poor fool".

3.  Tornado season is pretty much 11/12 of the year.

4.  No basements.  Need explanation?  See #3.

5.  Lack of diversity in people, food, pretty much everything.

6.  Racism is thriving.

7.  The divide between those who have and have not is far too wide and divisive.

8.  Southern hospitality means saying whatever you want as long as you smile while you say it.

9.  Central time zone in an Eastern time zone place.  Hello, people, do you not like daylight???

10.  Children, minorities, and poor should not be seen nor heard in the deep south. 


I'll stop. I can literally compile a list of probably 100 off the top of my head. 

Like I said last night though, I appreciate and learned a lot in our time in the south.  One of the most difficult things for me to swallow was the line between the have and have nots.  I say this as a person who lives currently in a very "have" kind of community.  The area is very highly educated, employed, and in general, probably has a higher household income than a large part of the state.  Obviously we chose this area, but we were drawn to the diversity, close knit community feel, and great school system.  We were not necessarily drawn to the "have" perception of the area. 

Within our own community, I was reminded today of the line drawn here.  As Vivi and I toured three schools, it was very evident to me that the residents of our hometown have a lot of choice.  There are numerous preschool choices.  And these choices go hand in hand with money.  At one school, I was asked if we would qualify for any state grant programs.  We do not, but we would have two years ago when we were both unemployed.  I'm thankful that those programs in this excellent district are afforded to all.  I remember back when we lived in the area before we moved and I was told that the school that housed "those programs" was looked down upon by the parents of the other public preschool in the district.  As I toured the school, I could not understand why.  As a preschool, it had a huge gymnasium with shiny new mats, bikes, and a bouncehouse.  The classrooms had new materials and were warm and happy.  The facility was nice and the staff friendly.  I had also toured the "other" school today with Vivi.  They had a great science room but outside of that, the actual facility was not friendlier, was not more welcoming, and certainly was not any amount of different enough to call one the have and the other have nots.  And I would have preferred the first school (yes, the "have nots") if they didn't have a wait list.

I went to preschool in our church's lower level as a child.  It didn't have much, but it was nurturing and allowed us to explore.  We, as children, were happy.  And it certainly wasn't expensive or exclusive.  If it were, I wouldn't have attended.  We didn't have money.  We weren't the "haves".  My parents were working class.  They were hard workers that afforded us luxuries (like dance class) through their hard work. 

Tony and I?  We are educated.  We were both gainfully employed.  We made more as a childless couple than we needed.  I still don't think we would be considered the "haves" by most "haves".  In my mind, we are just hard workers.  We both had full time jobs, coached, and I worked two additional paid positions at the school district.  Just hard workers.  And when we lost our jobs, well, I think that many people would have looked at us as the "have nots". 

I am thankful for my friends who befriended us during that time when they knew the entire situation.  One of my friends knew it all from the start and still, wanted to be our friends.  It was hard.  It was something that makes others look down at you.  It was something you didn't share with everyone. 

My point is, someone's current status financially, employment-wise, etc. says nothing about their character or merit.  I hope to impart that knowledge on Vivi.  I hope she understands that status, titles, and money can be fleeting.  But the depth of a person's character is what is truly important.   And someday, those kids at the preschool deemed as lesser of the two publics, may be the bosses ;)

Top Ten

Two Four Two


Okay, okay.  I said that I would post some things about Montgomery and the South that were favorable.  I think I should do it now because everytime someone asks me about the South, I spew garbage faster than fast.  I need to focus on the good I think, especially since the good is sooooo stinking good for us now.  I don't need any bad juju to taint it.

Top 10 things about Montgomery

1.  Friends.  We only had one family of lifers.  You know, the ones you want for a lifetime.  They changed our lives.  Opened our eyes.  Were sounding blocks for my craziness.  Support through the madness.  Proof that we could survive, because they had.  I can hardly believe that they befriended us.  If I read back through this blog, I wouldn't believe it because I was a straight up looney tune.  But I have pics, so they must not be imaginary.  Right? ;)

2.  Sunshine in the winter.  Though most of the Midwest had a sunnier than usual winter, it is something you can count on in Montgomery, Alabama.  I do love the sun.  I'm sure I'll miss this even more come winter (which is bound to be the worst winter on record since we are back).

3.  Being with the children at home.  Not really a thing in Montgomery, but it was the first time I was able to do it and I had wanted it so badly.  I love it, but truthfully, television and media make it look lots more glam than what I seem to be achieving.  Huge learning curve.  Hoping to overcome the lack of showering soon.

4.  Booming economy.  It is good to see US citizens thriving.  Building homes, dining out, shopping.  The economy there is nothing like it is in SE Michigan.  Still here, there are many jobless.  Many families struggling.  It is a mindset that is hard to grapple with once you are in a place where people spend money so freely. 

5.  Korean grocers.  I know this seems random, but with the large Korean population, there were great markets with fresh Korean items that you can't get most places.  It was much easier to make "authentic" dishes there.

6.  Nancy's Italian Ice.  It was fluffy and flavorful.  One of the flavors was like the guri-guri you can only get in Maui.  YUM!

7.  Perspective.  It may seem funny, but it made me even more certain how much I love home.  It made it clearer why I love the fast paced, hard exteriors, and progressive thinking of SE Michigan. 

8.  Perspective again.  It was not this way in the South, but it made it clear to me also that I can love Black, White and anything between as well as the poorest of poor and the richest of rich without any need for judgement or prejudice.  How lucky we are to get to choose a home in a socioeconomically diverse community. 

9.  Challenge.  It challenged me daily.  Some days I felt it was challenging my drive to survive and be the mother, wife, and woman I wanted to be.  Some days I felt like I was losing.  Maybe even most days.  But I never gave up or gave in.  I never backed down from the challenge and stayed true to myself.

10.  Faith.  Not in the sort that the South is famous for.  It wasn't our style.  We don't need that sort of religion to have faith.  Sometimes my prayers needed to be more frequent.  Sometimes my conversations with God were ongoing for days.  Sometimes I was scared, but I never lost faith.  And I'm so thankful for that. 


Strangely enough, we are heading into Humpday and I'm excited.  Seeing old friends at Tony's softball game in the evening.  A morning alone with Vivi checking out a prospective preschool for next year.  So much to be excited about.  So much to be thankful for :)

I'm hoping that you, friends, are riding the high of happiness right now too.  We haven't been so happy in a long time.  Life is too short to give up happiness and I'm so very thankful that we had this opportunity to chase happiness again for as long as we can.

Where are we now?

Post 241

I'm going to back track just a bit.  On the trip, the long, long, long drive to Michigan, we had a very, very, very brief stop overnight in Knoxville.  We were wiped out and barely got in before midnight after truck loading and traffic in Atlanta slowed up our agenda a bit.  Luckily we had a King sized bed to stretch out in.  Errr... until someone else stretched out in it. 

No worries though, we didn't sleep in it.  Tony was up with Weston who was totally out of sorts.  He was up crying until almost 2 am.  Where was I?  I had some stomach afliction that literally had me out of order until wee hours of the night.  So what did we do?  Got back on the road at 6 am.  Nothing sounded better than getting somewhere familiar. 

And though it sounds funny, we got to an exit to make a pit stop and we were happily welcomed by the construction that unearthed some good rich brown soil! 

We arrived at my parent's home and the kiddies were elated to  see them.  We then left to meet our friend who drove our truck with car in tow.  After a very late night, we checked into a hotel.  We had plans to see the "new house" the next day. 

Unfortunately, that is where things went awry.  We were met with a slight water issue in the basement that no one could explain.  And Tony and I saw lots and lots of work that needed to be done.  It was going to be our home so we were excited despite the long list of things to do. 

But the house didn't close when it was supposed to.  The date got pushed back a day.  Then two more.  Then three more.  Tony had to stay with friends and I stayed with the kids at my parents.  Now I've mentioned before how Vivi does without seeing Tony.  It was a very typical time.  Lots of drama.  Huge adjustment issues.  And the weekend came for Tony to see us and he immediately said, "We have to get into a home.  She is nutso!"  With the house not closing and closing promised and then closing not happening over and over, we freaked out. 

We visited a few rentals on the market.  We even stopped to see one on the way to a wedding.  It just so happened that the rental that day was the first home we considered purchasing back in 2007.  The family had updated many things in the home and it was perfect.  We submitted our application and left a deposit immediately. 

Then it was off to the wedding of a former student.  She was extremely gorgeous and full of the same passion and drive that I remembered her having as a 5th and 6th grade student.  It was a beautiful and touching ceremony and I was honored to get to share in that wonderful memory with her :) 

Four days later, we got word that the house was ours.  Vivi and I came down to see the house.  We couldn't get into it, but finding a small place for a garden for her was enough to have her hooked!

Biding time before we could move everything into the home, we made a hopscotch course which Vivi mastered.

Weston somehow seemed to grow several months in age over the past month.  He is so sweet and everyone is just wrapped around his fingers.  How could we not be? ;)

The kids stayed with my parents for two nights while we moved our belongings in.  Of course nothing went as planned.  The movers were two hours late.  I was fuming.  But alas, we are in.  While I had 5 minutes of down time, I decided to rip up the carpet in Vivi's room. 

Hours later and covered in filth, we had it all cleaned up.  Vivi's room was the first to be set up.  We still have to hang shelves and finish her gallery-style wall of art, but it is definitely the most complete.  In our home, we have a nearly new kitchen.  An open, but cozy living area, smaller bedrooms with hardwood and a full basement with lots of storage and a finished area perfect for a playroom!

In our first night here, we met our neighbors.  It took over a year and a half to meet 4 in Alabama.  We hit up the farmer's market, and have already enjoyed a community sponsored family night downtown.  Tonight's walk had us welcomed by several old neighbors and several new ones.  I got to squeeze in Zumba (it was awesome!!!) and then back to late nights visiting with old and new friends again. 

Vivi is happy.  Tony is happy.  Weston is...teething, but happy.  And me?  I'm on cloud nine.  And loving every moment. 

Two Forty

PMS

Right now I have it bad.  Maybe just MS.  Moving syndrome.  Since we left Alabama, we've been in housing limbo.  What we planned DID NOT work out.  I get that plans don't always work, but BIG ones that don't work get me more than worked up.  

We are just now moving.  As in, got keys last night.  Moved two vehicles full thrice.  And movers coming today with the rest.  Then I'll be amidst a house bursting at the seams of boxes.  Oh joy!

I will definitely flash back to the entire ordeal and the craziness that ensued on the daily while our family was bumming spots on homes of friends and family.  For now, I just wanted to get you excited about all the crabby whining crap to come.  And of course about the rainbow in the end.  

And if you are wondering how the kids are surviving, can you say nonstop party at the Grandparent's house?
Rolling in toys!  It's like the infant version of the indecent proposal money roll!
Taping her tea cup shut.  This one goes out to her scotch tape partner, Cade!

More to come.  Stay tuned!

Game changer

Two Thirty Nine

This weekend we partied like it was 1999.  Lol!  We just had some big events on the calendar and we enjoyed every moment.

Friday night was a Mommy's Night.  My dear friend and I hit up Carrabas and ate like we had been on Survivor for the past 3 months.  It was delicioso!  No kids to feed.  No babies to change.  A nice blackberry sangria.  Great conversation.  What more could a girl ask for?  Not much.  Not much at all.  Afterwards though, we couldn't quite figure out why this was only the 3rd night out in well over a year's time. 

First up for Vivi was a classmate's birthday celebration.  Vivi's classmate is a very polite and sweet little girl.  For her party, her mother called on the Big Green Bus.  It basically is an old bus, painted green, gutted, and filled with tumbling fun.  They do classes after school all over the city and they do parties.  And let me tell you, these kiddies were excited as excited can be as many of them do not attend the classes at school.  Vivi literally shrieked for a full minute when we drove towards the house and could see the bus in the driveway.  Success at a preschool birthday party in Montgomery is spelled B-I-G-G-R-E-E-N-B-U-S!.  Personally, I'm not sure that I would have ordered up the bus for a party, but for that first hour when the Mommas were chillin' in the house enjoying adult conversation, well, maybe it was worth the employment of the BGB. 

After that, it was time for pizza, cake, and then it was pinata time.  This pinata needed no bat.  It had several strings and one "magic" string would allow the candy to sprinkle the ground.  Luckily, each child pulled a string and then the birthday girl got a second pull where she found the "magic" string.  I just have to wonder how many times the string is pulled on the first guess though and the kids are left bummed that they didn't get "a turn".  See how well they actually lined up for a turn? 

After the party, I was pooped out.  So was Vivi.  We enjoyed a nice nap and after dinner, it was time to work.  Tony and I organized, sorted, decluttered and well, fell short of what we wanted to get done.  I guess it will get done when it gets done though, right?

Then this morning we had a very special playdate. Vivi wanted to wear her halter top and we compromised with a long sleeve under the halter for the 60 degree morning.  She was very excited to see "her Cade" as she typically asks where he is and if she will see him just about every morning!

We took the lovelies to Chuck E's place.  The rat didn't show, but the kids still had a great time!  These two have been in love since the first encounter.  And they are still going strong.  Today was a great day and they didn't do their typical old-married-couple-bickering. 

And yes, we were those parents that allowed them to run shoe-less and stand on the skee ball game for a pic.  Can you blame us?  Were they not freakin' adorable???

Then the kids gave big hugs.  It was their last playdate for a little while.  I think I mentioned that her boy is moving this summer.  And I know I've mentioned that when the opportunity knocks, our family is ready to roll right back to the Midwest.  Well, opportunity knocked.  And the Roberts, well, we are rolling. 

I have only told some family and a handful of friends about this.  It was important for us not to announce that we are leaving because Tony is still working and he is leaving to a competitor. We didn't want to jeopardize the remainder of his employment so we could not really talk about the move.  His last day is tomorrow and he is going to be done early in the morning so we're safe.

Now to back track.  We put the house on the market in March.  When did we plan this?  In the fall.  We knew that it might take several months to sell and that the interest for other employment was already tapping on the door.  We figured that we would stay two years and then be done.  And if the house sold before we were ready to leave, we would move to an apartment.  With this plan, the realtor suggested marketing the house in the spring.  We would have done it earlier but the granite took longer than expected.  So no tangible plans to move to the Midwest were in the works at the time.  But you know you have to be ready, right?

Then two opportunities knocked harder than any others that had tapped before.  One with Chrysler in Toledo and the other with Ford back in Michigan.  Either would put us within a couple hours from family and friends and either would be dreamy for us.  One started to look good, and then the other.  Then one didn't look like it could pan out and then the other.  It was stressful, it was full of hope, and full of fear for us both.  At one point, it looked like maybe the two would bring offers to the table at the same time and would benefit us.  Then the no news is good news thing happened for a couple weeks and we were sure neither would turn out. 

We prayed.  We asked family and close friends to pray.  Not for one or the other, but for some clarity so we wouldn't be emotional about it all and going crazy from day to day.  We had faith that it would work out how God intended.  We never doubted that.  But our emotions needed some peace.  We asked, we received.  We found peace in it all.  Sometimes the peace didn't last long and all I could do was pray for clarity until I fell asleep at night. 

It happened just how we hoped and certainly just how it was supposed to.  The details were hectic getting ready.  Packing the house.  Finding housing.  Looking for schools for Vivi for next year!!!  And decluttering was huge.  The house we are moving to is half the size of the house we live in.  It has a basement that maybe brings it to 1000 sq. feet less than what we have now.  But remember my post about my dream house?  This is it.  Nothing formal.  Hardwood floors.  A neighborhood with sidewalks.  And enough space for my family and even a little to invite friends to visit. 

We pack up tomorrow and the next day.  Then we hit the road.  Vivi will be sad to leave her friends, especially Cade, but she is looking forward to seeing her grandparents and aunt.  She asks for them daily and they already have their first weekend together planned with a trip to the circus and their favorite ice cream spot.  I know she'll be sad to say goodbye to classmates, but since this trip feels like going "home", I'm hoping it won't be as difficult for her as it was coming to the south. 

And somehow we have two months of weekends already scheduled.  We can't wait.  Visiting with family and friends.  Going to all of the places we have missed.  Tony will not be working weekends all of the time.  He won't be working late at night.  We'll see him home for dinner (and early dinner at that) and life will just be so sweet. 

I can't begin to tell you how happy I am to head home.  Words can't begin to describe how excited I am for the family time our family of four will enjoy regularly.  I am so very thankful for how we are continuously blessed.  Our children, our family, our friends.  I know I have whined and whined about Montgomery, and so a future post will focus on the green-ish grass we found here, the lifetime friendships we forged, and what amazing lessons we learned from our brief time as transplants in the south. 

But for now, I relish in the moment.  I'm coming home :)

Green, green grass

Number 238

The other night, Michelle Obama was on Letterman.  I love Letterman.  I love Michelle Obama.  Regardless of both of those personal preferences, I loved and could relate to her initiative to support military members and their families.  She stated that she had not grown up around military families but from her current political involvement, she has learned of the incredible strength, flexibility, intelligence, and endurance in each and ever military family.

Montgomery is home to two Air Force bases.  One is much larger where they train so people come for as little as 2 months to as much as 2-3 years.  The other houses some more permanent positions where people are stationed here indefinitely.  Now my father spent time in the military, a family friend chose it as a career, and my cousin enlisted over 4 years ago.  So I wouldn't say that I was unfamiliar, but truly, a military lifestyle was foreign to me.  And while I whined and complained about the move, the distance from family and friends, and the lack of support and connections, amidst it all, there were moms who were uprooted, thousands of miles from home, and on their 5th, 6th, or even 10th move. 

These moms, their children, and their spouses uproot their lives every 1, 2 or 3 years for the most part.  They travel all over the country.  I complained about where we live and I've just been spoiled to have everything at my fingertips.  I just met a mother who was from a place in New Mexico where the winds typically whip sand at 50-60 miles/hour on a day-to-day.  Fun times at the playground?  I think not.  My close friend lived at a place that had no museums, no Pump It Ups and the nearest Target?  A good drive.  Not my measly 5 minute drive. 

And then did I tell you about Vivi's classmate who has a father who works on an off shore oil rig?  He is out for 28 days and then home for 14.  Yes, you read that right.  OUT for 28!  His mother and I talked and it was hard to hold back tears when she shared that she felt that no money was worth his absence.  I've been upset that Tony works weekends and isn't home on time for a regular dinner.  Again, spoiled.

Now I know that my whining isn't the only issue.  Vivi missing him is such a push to get us out of here.  I actually joked with her last night when she passed right by me and I grabbed her around the waist and said, "Where are you going?"  She said, "I'm going to talk to my daddy," and I said, "You can't talk to him."  I was joking (he was right next to me, not 2 feet away).  Bad joke.  She balled up her fists, her face turned bright red, and as she yelled at me, "Don't stop me from talking to my daddy!!!" tears filled her eyes.  I quickly told her it was a bad joke and that I apologized for upsetting her.  I've never seen her so upset.  It was heart breaking.  It just confirms her connection with him and her need for him. 

I appreciate and even need to see those women and families who are so much stronger than I am.  Point being, I need the slap in the face reality at times.  I needed to see these families get through so I know that my whiny self can make it too.  And I know we will get through.  Vivi will too and she'll be stronger for it, I'm certain.

My friend mentioned that things have been falling into place with many things in the past couple of years.  Now it isn't ideal for many to scrape by like we have at times, but I'll take it.  I'm happy and thankful for what changes have happened even though they have been trying on all of us at times.  Though I've mentioned before that the grass is greener (literally) in Michigan, I'm thinking we've been pretty fortunate to have green, growing situations in our lives.